Happiness is...

It's incredible the paths you find yourself taking when you just give Jesus the lead. It's been awhile, I know, since I've last posted, but I thought I would catch you up on what's going on. (Even though I'm sure I'm the only one reading. Hahahah)

As I was saying, it's been a while since I've really given over to what God wants for me to do, and it's amazing seeing the way your life completely takes a different turn than you expect when you give it all over to Him. Now, I'm not saying that it was all just so easy for me to do, which is so true there should be another word for "true". Actually, it was more like a Jesus 2x4 hitting me over the head reminding me to look up instead of down so often. :o) I recently left my amazing job at IBC as an intern for many different reasons, one being that I just felt like I could be used more effectively by Him in other ways in ministry, and it took so long for me to get it that God made it happen of His own accord. I've really loved working there, and greatly encourage anyone looking for a ministry position to start looking there. I cannot put into words the amazing opportunities, support, friendships, and insights into the Church as a whole that have come from being there for almost 2 years. I just count myself blessed to have been a part of it, and it took ALL of me not to cry on Sunday, which was my last day. But I can't say I didn't cry the entire way home that night. I can't imagine what life's going to be like without being on staff there, but I know that it holds much more than I can even glimpse right now. I can't WAIT to get back to being in direct relationships with the kids themselves while I volunteer on Sundays, which is going to be INCREDIBLE! I also am not going to be employed, outside of babysitting and housesitting, in the Spring, which will definitely be a change since I haven't not had a job since high school. It'll be a change, but I'll be able to focus on school, investing in relationships there, and becoming more disciplined and diligent in glorifying God in the mundane things of life. And that means learning the little things that will help with the big things that God has planned for the future. For the longest time I've been struggling with whether or not I'm being used for any good in the Kingdom at all, and why God hasn't sent me anywhere to do anything of what I would deem as important. I've been doubting my faith in Him, my spiritual worth in His eyes, and whether or not I really amount to anything for what seems like forever. The only answer I've ever really gotten from Him is that I need to prove myself faithful in the tasks He has presented to me in the day-to-day stuff, like classes, quiet times, prayer times, studying, and finances, before I will be used in the ways I've always imagined (like going to the mission field, leading a ministry, writing for a ministry, etc.) Because in any situation, I need to always think of glorifying Him with all I can be, do, or say, I need to practice the stuff that will follow me the rest of my life before I try to take on something even bigger that will only add to the stress of it all. So, really, this whole change is freeing me of lots of responsibility, so that I can focus solely on the responsibilities that God asks of me, which have been left unfinished for so long. PRAISE JESUS!

I just pray that God will use me in the ways that He wills. And that I will be willing to give up whatever I need to in order to be a tool for Him. Life is changing, AMEN.