This week has been so amazing so far, and I only have better than perfect hopes for the rest of it.... The Lord has been teaching me so much, day by day, as He is so faithful and merciful and kind to me...
A few highlights:
1. A close friend has come to his senses about what his life is all about, and who he is, which is an answered prayer! I'm so very proud of him, and so happy that he's finally back!
2. The Lord has been revealing to me what it's really like to live day by day glorifying Him in everything I do and every decision I make... and it's really hard! But by the grace of God, my eyes and heart have been opened toward doing that, and not just saying that I should. His grace still daily tends to the mistakes I make, but it's so much of an adventure that I can't even describe it to you.... I know, that isn't like me at all!
3. Along with number 2, God has answered a huge prayer of mine about finding a cause or something I can put my whole heart and passion toward, in order to glorify Him with my life, because I didn't feel like I was doing that at all, and that it would be impossible for me to do right here and now. But it's amazing how God instills that passion in me, and then turns right around and shows me the path I can take that has been right in front of me all along. Focusing on the everyday helps me to grow and mature for the future. It's also given me new motivation to find opportunities I have to use my gifts for the people around me every day.
4. I got a sweet letter from my friend in Abilene, which made my day....
5. I'm going to get my hair done tomorrow... a whole new look... and then I'm going off to Billy Bob's to dance the night away with some great friends...
6. FALL BREAK starts this weekend, and my close aggie friend is coming home, which means TONS of fun, and a whole week off this next week!
7. I get to work in Comfort Zone again this Sunday... a normal thing that has become so much of a blessing to me these past four weeks...
8. How I Met Your Mother Season 2 comes out on DVD Tuesday, which means amazingness next weekend at a watch party my friends and I are setting up...
So, pretty much, life is going really really swimmingly right about now, and I'm so excited to see what God has in store for the future. I know times get pretty tough, but it's times like these that I live for. So, I feel like going and dancing in a beautiful meadow... wanna join me?
What's going on with you???
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Put To Good Use
So, the free hug day didn't work out, mostly because I realized going by myself would be more dangerous than helpful... But that made me question some things about my faith in God. I look back at what I could have done this weekend, even against the noise and warnings from my friends telling me it would be too dangerous, and I wonder if I just didn't have enough faith that God was telling me to do the job. I know that if God gives me a job to do, He will not only help me in times of trouble, but He'll also give me a way out when that trouble may come. So, I'm just wondering if I'm just too comfortable in this bubble I've found myself in this semester, and if I just don't remember what it is to break out of that comfort zone.
Part of me wants to just fly across the world tomorrow and do something dangerous, but impactful, and prove to myself that I can be in that place of faith again. This being in ministry has made it harder on my spiritual walk than I could have ever imagined, and I'm thankful for it because I'm growing. But as I was saying to one of my best friends last night, it's so much easier to forget about the heart of why you do something when you are surrounded by the ways you do it. I have to-do lists, schedules, books, studies, and so many other things that are filling my plate, and that aren't bad at all. Focusing on getting those things done, though, is a job so draining, that it makes me just want to blow off steam when I have free time. I lose a sense of living for my God in that free time that used to be there in every moment, because I feel like I've been working so hard for the rest of the 20 hours of the day. And that becomes draining, too, somehow.
I don't know if I'm making any sense at all of the feelings I have, but in a nutshell it all comes down to this. I feel like I'm not putting myself out there to be used by God in a big way, because I feel the need to be so focused on all the things on my plate, and somewhere in the midst of that, I lose the heart of it. I want some amazing, life-changing cause to come my way. An opportunity that is a wide open door that God has opened up for me to go through and experience Him in a lasting way. And I want to feel like I'm being used for good purpose that will make a difference in someone else's life, and not just in my own. I want to go somewhere where I know they need Jesus, and I want to tell them and show them and fall in love with that group of people. I want to be where they are, giving them the picture of God that so many have instilled in me because of their faithful service. And I know it's so ungrateful of me to be wanting something different from where I have been so graciously and lovingly placed for this season in my life, but it's just how I feel. I know I'm in the place that I am for a reason, and I'm so thankful for the people God has put in my life, because He has truly blessed me. I just want to be that kind of a blessing for others....
Okay, I think I'm done whining for now... :o) I'm off to do some homework before my next class! Hope I haven't bogged you down with all my ranting and such, and I hope you have a great day! Keep smiling. :o)
Part of me wants to just fly across the world tomorrow and do something dangerous, but impactful, and prove to myself that I can be in that place of faith again. This being in ministry has made it harder on my spiritual walk than I could have ever imagined, and I'm thankful for it because I'm growing. But as I was saying to one of my best friends last night, it's so much easier to forget about the heart of why you do something when you are surrounded by the ways you do it. I have to-do lists, schedules, books, studies, and so many other things that are filling my plate, and that aren't bad at all. Focusing on getting those things done, though, is a job so draining, that it makes me just want to blow off steam when I have free time. I lose a sense of living for my God in that free time that used to be there in every moment, because I feel like I've been working so hard for the rest of the 20 hours of the day. And that becomes draining, too, somehow.
I don't know if I'm making any sense at all of the feelings I have, but in a nutshell it all comes down to this. I feel like I'm not putting myself out there to be used by God in a big way, because I feel the need to be so focused on all the things on my plate, and somewhere in the midst of that, I lose the heart of it. I want some amazing, life-changing cause to come my way. An opportunity that is a wide open door that God has opened up for me to go through and experience Him in a lasting way. And I want to feel like I'm being used for good purpose that will make a difference in someone else's life, and not just in my own. I want to go somewhere where I know they need Jesus, and I want to tell them and show them and fall in love with that group of people. I want to be where they are, giving them the picture of God that so many have instilled in me because of their faithful service. And I know it's so ungrateful of me to be wanting something different from where I have been so graciously and lovingly placed for this season in my life, but it's just how I feel. I know I'm in the place that I am for a reason, and I'm so thankful for the people God has put in my life, because He has truly blessed me. I just want to be that kind of a blessing for others....
Okay, I think I'm done whining for now... :o) I'm off to do some homework before my next class! Hope I haven't bogged you down with all my ranting and such, and I hope you have a great day! Keep smiling. :o)
Monday, September 10, 2007
Free Hug Day 9/15/2007
In Korea...
I'll be doing this this Saturday afternoon in Dallas (exact location to be decided later). Join me if you want! Give me a call. You know the number.
Love, Dad
You were formed
By My hands.
No one knows you
Better than I.
Every freckle, each scar.
The smallest speckle of
Gold in your eyes.
I made them all.
I Am beautiful,
So why would I make
You ugly, stupid, or anything less than perfect?
You are My image.
Consider the lilies of the field.
They are all alike,
But you are unique and
Special to Me.
Not one is like you,
You are who you are.
No evil can come from
My hands.
You are
My flower,
My angel,
My princess,
My little girl.
Your smile brightens
the Sun in the morning.
Let it shine all the time
To others.
Let them know My love,
And all the while,
Know and believe that
Daddy loves you.
All my love,
Dad
By My hands.
No one knows you
Better than I.
Every freckle, each scar.
The smallest speckle of
Gold in your eyes.
I made them all.
I Am beautiful,
So why would I make
You ugly, stupid, or anything less than perfect?
You are My image.
Consider the lilies of the field.
They are all alike,
But you are unique and
Special to Me.
Not one is like you,
You are who you are.
No evil can come from
My hands.
You are
My flower,
My angel,
My princess,
My little girl.
Your smile brightens
the Sun in the morning.
Let it shine all the time
To others.
Let them know My love,
And all the while,
Know and believe that
Daddy loves you.
All my love,
Dad
For My Love
Walk towards me
I want to hear
The heavens singing over you.
When you breathe
And look at me
I want to be captured by you.
Gaze into my eyes,
Let me know you'd fight
Thousands for my love.
Slip your hand in mine,
Ask me to dance with you tonight.
Ask me for my love.
I want to hide
What's deep in my eyes
I'm scared to be known by you.
I want to turn my head
And see you there.
I want to be pursued.
Gaze into my eyes
Let me know you'd fight
Thousands for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight.
Ask me for my love.
A dream I won't wake from;
A story that will never end.
The ground your feet walk on...
Let me be there.
~Bethany Dillon
I want to hear
The heavens singing over you.
When you breathe
And look at me
I want to be captured by you.
Gaze into my eyes,
Let me know you'd fight
Thousands for my love.
Slip your hand in mine,
Ask me to dance with you tonight.
Ask me for my love.
I want to hide
What's deep in my eyes
I'm scared to be known by you.
I want to turn my head
And see you there.
I want to be pursued.
Gaze into my eyes
Let me know you'd fight
Thousands for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight.
Ask me for my love.
A dream I won't wake from;
A story that will never end.
The ground your feet walk on...
Let me be there.
~Bethany Dillon
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Out of the Box
Another older one...
You know, this may be completely and totally useless, but I had this random thought today.
I was passing by the normal scenery, and I noticed something I've never seen before, even in the thousands of times I've passed it. I saw this Jack-In-The-Box sign at a random gas station, and I saw that the "o" and "x" of "box" are connected in such a way that they make the Jesus fish symbol that Christians are so proud of. And I realized,
Sometimes we need to think outside of the box to find God in the everyday things. It's not hard, but it takes a new level of thinking. You have to be aware of Him, and looking for Him. I think that's what it means when the Bible says, "seek and you shall find."
And lately, I've been finding God in the most peculiar of places. It's so weird to me that I can be looking for God in all the shallow places of my life, the obvious places to find Him working, and instead in the places where I think out of the box, I find Him everywhere. Wow.... So, in short, God never ceases to amaze me by humbling me. Everytime I think I have Him figured out, or that He may be done working with me for awhile, He shows up, mostly in the places where I need the most work, such as trusting Him to work in the mundane places of my life. It's so mind-blowing that in the little plans that I have that I think He wouldn't work in, He does, and it just makes me realize that I don't have His plans all figured out. He has so much more for me. I'm not just going to go to NLC, work at IBC, work at Saltgrass, go to Common Ground, apply to colleges, and then find a new place to live next fall... I'm going to be involved in many little things that maybe aren't so little in the big scheme of things, such as little girls in Xite Nite, new friends, resurfacing friendships.
But the main goal of it all, this whole life really, is to become that which He made me to be. To find myself, whom He made. And whatever He makes is good and perfect in its first nature, so really, I'm finding goodness.
So, an encouragement... sift through your heart and find some goodness. Examine the little things in your life that may or may not be mundane and find the goodness in it. When you drive down the street, look at the clouds while you wait at a traffic light. When you are stuck in traffic, think about the drivers around you and do a little people-watching. God is in the small stuff they say. And I say that not only that, but good is there too, because God is good. Good is God. Just try it once. It's pretty fun.
And don't forget to smile! :o)
You know, this may be completely and totally useless, but I had this random thought today.
I was passing by the normal scenery, and I noticed something I've never seen before, even in the thousands of times I've passed it. I saw this Jack-In-The-Box sign at a random gas station, and I saw that the "o" and "x" of "box" are connected in such a way that they make the Jesus fish symbol that Christians are so proud of. And I realized,
Sometimes we need to think outside of the box to find God in the everyday things. It's not hard, but it takes a new level of thinking. You have to be aware of Him, and looking for Him. I think that's what it means when the Bible says, "seek and you shall find."
And lately, I've been finding God in the most peculiar of places. It's so weird to me that I can be looking for God in all the shallow places of my life, the obvious places to find Him working, and instead in the places where I think out of the box, I find Him everywhere. Wow.... So, in short, God never ceases to amaze me by humbling me. Everytime I think I have Him figured out, or that He may be done working with me for awhile, He shows up, mostly in the places where I need the most work, such as trusting Him to work in the mundane places of my life. It's so mind-blowing that in the little plans that I have that I think He wouldn't work in, He does, and it just makes me realize that I don't have His plans all figured out. He has so much more for me. I'm not just going to go to NLC, work at IBC, work at Saltgrass, go to Common Ground, apply to colleges, and then find a new place to live next fall... I'm going to be involved in many little things that maybe aren't so little in the big scheme of things, such as little girls in Xite Nite, new friends, resurfacing friendships.
But the main goal of it all, this whole life really, is to become that which He made me to be. To find myself, whom He made. And whatever He makes is good and perfect in its first nature, so really, I'm finding goodness.
So, an encouragement... sift through your heart and find some goodness. Examine the little things in your life that may or may not be mundane and find the goodness in it. When you drive down the street, look at the clouds while you wait at a traffic light. When you are stuck in traffic, think about the drivers around you and do a little people-watching. God is in the small stuff they say. And I say that not only that, but good is there too, because God is good. Good is God. Just try it once. It's pretty fun.
And don't forget to smile! :o)
My Girl
Another vintage post from my Facebook... just thought I would post it.
I was lying in my bed, half asleep from the day's exhaustion, thinking about the way my life will turn out. Or better yet, the way I would love for it to turn out. Two or three kids, two boys and a girl, an adorable husband with the softest brown hair and deepest blue eyes and the sweetest sense of humor, all of it mine. I could rejoice in the Lord for the great things He would have done for me, for what He would have given me. Then I feel the soft caress of a warm finger tracing the lines of my cheekbone as I lay my head against my pillow, the weight of a person sitting beside me on the bed. I open my sleepy eyes to see the most beautiful man watching me rest. He plays with the tendrils of my hair, wraps his fingers around mine, lifts my hand and kisses it softly as a prince would do for his princess.
"You know," he says, "you are truly beautiful when you are at such rest. I can tell what you were imagining. But I do have a question to ask you."
As I lift my head, he gently rests it back upon the downy pillow. What could he ask me that would ever make me uncomfortable? Just looking at him made me feel at peace. His deep blue eyes seemed to see right through me, looking straight into my soul and doing some repair work as he continued to speak.
"If I were to appear like this to you every night and every morning, would you want to spend more time with me? Would you love me more? Would you believe me more steadfastly when I say that I love you more than anything in my creation? You do know that those flowers in that field you pass every morning on the way to school is my bouquet for you, right? That sunrise that wakes you to each new day is only the beginning of the blessings I have in store for each day of your life. If I had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. I could not have made a more perfect being for your soul to reside in, not a more perfect soul to grow into for you. You will always have my beckoned call. I will always be at your side. I long to talk with you about your day, what you did, who you were with, about the deep desires of your heart that I placed there for a reason. You will always be my favorite thing to watch and delight in. You have some growing up to do, but you could never be more perfect to me than you are right now. And with age, comes more beauty. I have incredible plans for your life, but I do need you to believe me when I say that I do, because I know you like to take things into your own hands. But believe me, sweetie, I do. And I just know that you will be happy if you trust me to give you those blessings. It won't be easy all the time, but I'm always here. I'm forever right beside you to hold your hand when you're scared, lonely, tired, restless, anxious, whatever. And there are no better hands to hold.
But do you really need me to come to you like this? Physical form is just another expression of love for you that I have planned for another day. That day will be amazing, let me tell you now, but you are strong enough in heart to wait for that day. The companion you may want right now is not going to satisfy you like I have, do, and will. So, just trust me. All will be taken care of in due time. And for now, life is going to be a beautiful dance for us to waltz to, my girl. So, go back to sleep. Sweet dreams. I'll still be here when you wake up. I love you."
I woke up to find that no man was there, no trace of anyone ever being with me at all. But I knew in my heart that He would take care of me. I can trust Him to always look out for my best interest. And I can find Him in the little things that make everyday special. Oh what a wonderful Love I have.
I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet...
It may not be the way I would have chosen
But you lead me through a world that's not my home
And you never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone....
I was lying in my bed, half asleep from the day's exhaustion, thinking about the way my life will turn out. Or better yet, the way I would love for it to turn out. Two or three kids, two boys and a girl, an adorable husband with the softest brown hair and deepest blue eyes and the sweetest sense of humor, all of it mine. I could rejoice in the Lord for the great things He would have done for me, for what He would have given me. Then I feel the soft caress of a warm finger tracing the lines of my cheekbone as I lay my head against my pillow, the weight of a person sitting beside me on the bed. I open my sleepy eyes to see the most beautiful man watching me rest. He plays with the tendrils of my hair, wraps his fingers around mine, lifts my hand and kisses it softly as a prince would do for his princess.
"You know," he says, "you are truly beautiful when you are at such rest. I can tell what you were imagining. But I do have a question to ask you."
As I lift my head, he gently rests it back upon the downy pillow. What could he ask me that would ever make me uncomfortable? Just looking at him made me feel at peace. His deep blue eyes seemed to see right through me, looking straight into my soul and doing some repair work as he continued to speak.
"If I were to appear like this to you every night and every morning, would you want to spend more time with me? Would you love me more? Would you believe me more steadfastly when I say that I love you more than anything in my creation? You do know that those flowers in that field you pass every morning on the way to school is my bouquet for you, right? That sunrise that wakes you to each new day is only the beginning of the blessings I have in store for each day of your life. If I had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. I could not have made a more perfect being for your soul to reside in, not a more perfect soul to grow into for you. You will always have my beckoned call. I will always be at your side. I long to talk with you about your day, what you did, who you were with, about the deep desires of your heart that I placed there for a reason. You will always be my favorite thing to watch and delight in. You have some growing up to do, but you could never be more perfect to me than you are right now. And with age, comes more beauty. I have incredible plans for your life, but I do need you to believe me when I say that I do, because I know you like to take things into your own hands. But believe me, sweetie, I do. And I just know that you will be happy if you trust me to give you those blessings. It won't be easy all the time, but I'm always here. I'm forever right beside you to hold your hand when you're scared, lonely, tired, restless, anxious, whatever. And there are no better hands to hold.
But do you really need me to come to you like this? Physical form is just another expression of love for you that I have planned for another day. That day will be amazing, let me tell you now, but you are strong enough in heart to wait for that day. The companion you may want right now is not going to satisfy you like I have, do, and will. So, just trust me. All will be taken care of in due time. And for now, life is going to be a beautiful dance for us to waltz to, my girl. So, go back to sleep. Sweet dreams. I'll still be here when you wake up. I love you."
I woke up to find that no man was there, no trace of anyone ever being with me at all. But I knew in my heart that He would take care of me. I can trust Him to always look out for my best interest. And I can find Him in the little things that make everyday special. Oh what a wonderful Love I have.
I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet...
It may not be the way I would have chosen
But you lead me through a world that's not my home
And you never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone....
Here Am I
I wrote this a while back, but it seems appropriate for life right now... it's just been coming up in conversation, so I thought I would post it. Hope you like it!
When was the last time you daydreamed about unicorns or being a rock star or winning the Olympic gold medal? When was the last time you were asked what you wanted to be when you grew up? Imagination. It’s a wonderful thing, isn’t it? As kids, we could do anything we set our minds to. We could play with dolls and pretend about our futures as mommies, doctors, lawyers, or even the first female President of the United States. We could do anything we wanted in our imaginations. But as we got older, that innocence is lost somewhere along the way. Somewhere down the line, we forget about the big dreams. Even in our spiritual walks, we lose that innocence. When I get to teach fourth grade girls on Sunday mornings, I find myself standing in awe of their love for life, their spirit. They don’t let the hard things in life get them down. And, believe me, the trials really start early. Then I look at myself and wonder why I let so many things like college applications and stressful weeks take over my spirit and eat away at my joy. This past Sunday, our fourth grade girls’ class challenged my girls to encourage the adults around them to be strong and courageous in the Lord, and to use their imaginations. I believe I learned so much more from them than they did from me. In our youth group meeting later that day, the basics of the Bible were taught. Since our God is ultimately powerful over everything and can do whatever He wants, and since He loves us more than anything, then naturally He wants the best for us. So, why do we worry so much about the little stuff? What theologians call “child-like faith‿ is exactly what we need to learn once again! Having the simple faith that this amazing God loves us, no matter what, is enough to conquer our fears. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t doubt sometimes, because we all do. But that the Lord God Almighty is with us, so whom shall we fear? So, like Joshua, let us be strong and courageous, neither afraid nor discouraged (Joshua 1:9). Let’s use our imaginations to imagine the greatest thing God could use us to do in this world, and then let Him do His will for His glory. We are all like Isaiah in Isaiah 6. He was at the very throne of God, and was cleansed out of love. Seeing our Lord’s glory before his own eyes, he knew that God is everything and can do anything. So, let’s be like him and shout to the Lord, “Here am I! Send me!," because we know and believe in our hearts that He will use His beloved children to do His wonderful work-- the young, the old, the girls and the women. “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example in life, love, faith, and purity" (1 Timothy 4:12). We weren’t given a teenage Holy Spirit, let us use our imaginations and see what God sees because “all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).
When was the last time you daydreamed about unicorns or being a rock star or winning the Olympic gold medal? When was the last time you were asked what you wanted to be when you grew up? Imagination. It’s a wonderful thing, isn’t it? As kids, we could do anything we set our minds to. We could play with dolls and pretend about our futures as mommies, doctors, lawyers, or even the first female President of the United States. We could do anything we wanted in our imaginations. But as we got older, that innocence is lost somewhere along the way. Somewhere down the line, we forget about the big dreams. Even in our spiritual walks, we lose that innocence. When I get to teach fourth grade girls on Sunday mornings, I find myself standing in awe of their love for life, their spirit. They don’t let the hard things in life get them down. And, believe me, the trials really start early. Then I look at myself and wonder why I let so many things like college applications and stressful weeks take over my spirit and eat away at my joy. This past Sunday, our fourth grade girls’ class challenged my girls to encourage the adults around them to be strong and courageous in the Lord, and to use their imaginations. I believe I learned so much more from them than they did from me. In our youth group meeting later that day, the basics of the Bible were taught. Since our God is ultimately powerful over everything and can do whatever He wants, and since He loves us more than anything, then naturally He wants the best for us. So, why do we worry so much about the little stuff? What theologians call “child-like faith‿ is exactly what we need to learn once again! Having the simple faith that this amazing God loves us, no matter what, is enough to conquer our fears. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t doubt sometimes, because we all do. But that the Lord God Almighty is with us, so whom shall we fear? So, like Joshua, let us be strong and courageous, neither afraid nor discouraged (Joshua 1:9). Let’s use our imaginations to imagine the greatest thing God could use us to do in this world, and then let Him do His will for His glory. We are all like Isaiah in Isaiah 6. He was at the very throne of God, and was cleansed out of love. Seeing our Lord’s glory before his own eyes, he knew that God is everything and can do anything. So, let’s be like him and shout to the Lord, “Here am I! Send me!," because we know and believe in our hearts that He will use His beloved children to do His wonderful work-- the young, the old, the girls and the women. “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example in life, love, faith, and purity" (1 Timothy 4:12). We weren’t given a teenage Holy Spirit, let us use our imaginations and see what God sees because “all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).
Dancing and Delighting
So, this week has been so full of drama... and if you know me well at all, you know how much I hate drama. And the thing is, I brought it all on myself really. It's incredible to me to think about the sheer amount of crap God puts up with in order to delight in me. This week has bruised me to the point that I am exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster it has been. I am tired and worn and eroded. I am pallid and empty as I type this, but He is truly amazing, and if there's one thing I've learned from this past week it's that He is the constant. He is the only constant in my life. Friends will come and go, relationships may or may not happen, happiness is a relative term, and God is the only constant among everything. He is my Rock, He is the only firm entity in my life, and He will never ever change. I fall more deeply in love with Him everytime I realize that. His is the romance of all romances. His dance is the masterpiece. His plans for me are unfailing in faithfulness and love and goodness. He has ridden me of all bitterness, He has given me a fresh new start, He has filled my days with moments I am blessed with in order to ultimately glorify Him. His plans for me started as an empty canvas, and every brushstroke and every color mixture is a planned portion of goodness He willingly and knowingly makes on that canvas. His artistry is unmatched, and His delight is in that artistry. He makes it unique, meaningful, purposeful, and beautiful. And He means every thing He says about and does to it. Who am I to come and try to fingerpaint all over it? Who am I to come and draw stick figures, trying to teach Him how to make it a masterpiece? When that thought finally crosses my mind, I am able to see the putrid horrors I have done to the work in progress, and can do nothing but fall to my knees at His work stool. I can do nothing but let the tears flow at the disappointment I know He must feel in me, because I know too well that it isn't my first time. In that very moment of self-loathing and shame, though, He lifts my chin and uses His apron and compassionate hands to wipe the tears from my face, He searches my eyes until they have met His, and reminds me of His never-ending delight. He lovingly uses my colors and mistakes to make an even brighter, bolder, more beautiful look about it. And I cannot imagine a more exquisite piece of art.I am so truly blessed, and I cannot imagine a better place for me to be in than right here. So, let His plans take over. Let Him have His way. He knows what is best, and He will bring it about in His oh so perfect timing. Whatever I know is true, I know it comes from Him, and only truth can set me free. "It is for freedom that He has set us free." So now I frolic, twirl, smile, sing and dance in the freedom that is a carefree life of love, lived out to please only Him. 
Blessed is the man...
[whose] delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water
whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
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