Jessica on DETOX?!?! What is the world coming to???

Jessica: loves red meat, bread, fried things, potato chips, chocolate, milk, cheese, eggs, some fruits, some veggies, cokes, and is basically against all things healthy when it comes to food.... I say if you're going to eat it, you'd better enjoy it. :o)

Well, that Jessica is gone. Let me explain....

I've been reading this book called "Skinny Bitch" (forgive the title), and it's really inspired me to be looking at the things I eat and really take into account what goes into making those things, and what could happen to my body if I continue to eat them. Well, my friend, let me tell you... it wouldn't be pretty. I'm also taking a consumer nutrition course at school, so I'm thinking, maybe God's trying to tell me something. :o) And, of course, I don't want to die at age 42 with a weight problem because I didn't try to alter my diet for the better. :o)

Also, I'm going through some spiritual renewal in my walk with God, and it's becoming such a great growth, that I feel the need to use a catharsis to express physically what is going on in my heart. And I'm definitely not glorifying God with my eating habits at the present time, so that's another reason why I feel it's important that I do this. :o)

So, I'm eating all the food I just bought at the grocery store that wouldn't fit into this new diet, so that at least by Ash Wednesday I will be able to start completely over. I want to do a detox program first, to clean out what's already there, so I'm researching good programs to use and how much they cost and such. And I'll be using the Lent season to do the detox.... and if needed, more time than that. :o) Then I'm going to go green. "Organic", "soy", "whole grain", and "vegan" will be words I use often. And not just to describe someone else's diet... :o) Also, I will begin working out on a regular basis (Lord knows there's a lot of land to be run on here).

Thusly, I would LOVE it if you would please pray for me as I start off on this new trail filled with healthiness. I'm going to be weaning myself off the foods that can be eliminated this early in the game, and that includes cokes. That alone is a really serious prayer request. :o) This is going to be tough to fight temptation on, especially with my grandma's homemade cooking seeping into my oh so yearning nostrils. So, yes, please pray. And if you have any suggestions on good organic/vegan foods I can look into (keeping in mind my grocery choices are limited to Albertson's, WalMart, and Target here), I would LOVE some suggestions. Luckily, there is a health food store not five minutes from my house. So YAY!

God is good. And so are veggies. :o)

PS~ I miss every last one of you.

The Art of Living

I need more words
To describe my feelings
I need you to be here
To hold me and say it’s alright
The future is now
And I’m scared of growing
And getting too sure of
Where the character is going.
I’m not so sure of tomorrow
Or what it might bring
Because making something of worth
Is the art of living.
You’ve planted the seed
That I can look back on later
And laugh through the tears
Seeing the beauty that fate will cater.
The style of living
Isn’t the skill of each stroke of the brush
But what the picture means
When you step back and can’t touch.
I’m afraid of what I can’t do
And what I will do with what I can.
My flaws outnumber my gifts
And I wonder about the plan
That you might have for me
And what it includes
Because I’m more afraid
Of what the story exudes.
The tale is already written
And nothing can be erased.
So is it comedy or tragedy?
What ending will be placed?
How many chapters are there?
And will I fall in love?
The book is too high on the shelf.
Too many lofty thoughts from above.
Why can’t you tell me
What will happen tomorrow
And how to avoid
Any hurt, pain, or sorrow?
Will I ever find my delight
In the things I’m given by you?
Or will I just throw away
The masterpiece written so true?

Love doesn't have to be romance

Everywhere I go
You are there, and know
When I want to walk away
Part of me always wants to stay
When I get a hug from you
My grey skies turn the brightest blue
No matter what I feel
This photo in my mind won’t peel.
The image of you and me talking
Or just on the sidewalk walking
Just doing life together
And the rest is just whatever
Because we can be there for anything
And it will never be just a fling
Because we are in it for good
Whether friends or more, we would
Just be there no matter what
I can feel it in my deepest gut
Our shoulders are there to be cried on
And our laughs are what we can rely on
To make the days worthwhile
And to always make us smile
No matter what, I know you’ll pray
And if I need you, you will stay
Love doesn’t have to be romance
Because all of life is a dance
Love is always going to be there
And it follows me everywhere.

Mo' Smiles

i just realized how many "poor pitiful me" posts i've put up lately....

so this one is happy.

HAPPY!
:o)

JOY!
:o)

But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.
Psalm 68:3

7 steps to sanity

I've been figuring out a bunch of stuff about myself lately... and I've decided that it goes in a cycle. Or atleast there are a few steps to my intellect and the reasons behind why I'm so crazy/insane with emotions all the time. :o) I just like formulating all these analyzations of my mind and heart, because 1) it gives me something to think about and 2) I can finally figure out why I do the things I do and feel the ways I feel. I might need to change my major to psychology. :o)

1. I feel like I need a boyfriend to take care of me.... Or, better yet, I want a boyfriend so that I will have someone to take care of me.
2. That is because I have lost some footing on God taking care of me and being the only One I need. Ever.
3. This is because it's a daily struggle for me to keep a quiet time "date" with God on a daily basis, and sometimes I really don't keep my "dates" with Him for days at a time. I know everyone struggles with this at some point, but it frustrates me.
4. Thus, I am frustrated with myself, and therefore (since I'm not in the Word) focus on my physical and emotional flaws and question why I don't actually have a boyfriend, and therefore end up tearing my self-esteem to shreds.
5. Then, I get analytical and kind of depressed and write blogs about my insanity.
6. I then realize that the time and effort spent on writing said blogs could have been better used in praying and reading the Word, which would get me back on my God-dependent feet, walking confidently in Him, where I can actually give some honest and hopefully spiritually helpful and encouraging opinions/advice to people who may come talk to me about their problems.
7. This once again leads me to wanting a boyfriend to talk to about my problems. That is, outside of praying about them. :o) And that makes me feel lonely, which leads me back to step one.

The irony behind all of this is that, I know how to stop the train.... I just somehow don't. And this all usually happens about once a month. So, please don't think that it's everyday. :o)

I just realized tonight that I want someone to come and tuck me into bed, who loves me for all my insanity and more, and still wants to be around to give me a hug when the cycle starts all over again. But for now, I need to get back to sole-dependence on God and trying to glorify Him in all that I do. That makes Him more attractive, which leads to His light shining through me. And the one who has the Lord always on the brain can never call themselves lonely.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you."~ Jesus.