7 steps to sanity

I've been figuring out a bunch of stuff about myself lately... and I've decided that it goes in a cycle. Or atleast there are a few steps to my intellect and the reasons behind why I'm so crazy/insane with emotions all the time. :o) I just like formulating all these analyzations of my mind and heart, because 1) it gives me something to think about and 2) I can finally figure out why I do the things I do and feel the ways I feel. I might need to change my major to psychology. :o)

1. I feel like I need a boyfriend to take care of me.... Or, better yet, I want a boyfriend so that I will have someone to take care of me.
2. That is because I have lost some footing on God taking care of me and being the only One I need. Ever.
3. This is because it's a daily struggle for me to keep a quiet time "date" with God on a daily basis, and sometimes I really don't keep my "dates" with Him for days at a time. I know everyone struggles with this at some point, but it frustrates me.
4. Thus, I am frustrated with myself, and therefore (since I'm not in the Word) focus on my physical and emotional flaws and question why I don't actually have a boyfriend, and therefore end up tearing my self-esteem to shreds.
5. Then, I get analytical and kind of depressed and write blogs about my insanity.
6. I then realize that the time and effort spent on writing said blogs could have been better used in praying and reading the Word, which would get me back on my God-dependent feet, walking confidently in Him, where I can actually give some honest and hopefully spiritually helpful and encouraging opinions/advice to people who may come talk to me about their problems.
7. This once again leads me to wanting a boyfriend to talk to about my problems. That is, outside of praying about them. :o) And that makes me feel lonely, which leads me back to step one.

The irony behind all of this is that, I know how to stop the train.... I just somehow don't. And this all usually happens about once a month. So, please don't think that it's everyday. :o)

I just realized tonight that I want someone to come and tuck me into bed, who loves me for all my insanity and more, and still wants to be around to give me a hug when the cycle starts all over again. But for now, I need to get back to sole-dependence on God and trying to glorify Him in all that I do. That makes Him more attractive, which leads to His light shining through me. And the one who has the Lord always on the brain can never call themselves lonely.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you."~ Jesus.