The End of My World

I had the weirdest dream last night... President Bush and the President of Iran had gotten into a Bay of Pigs situation, and it was closing in on the "little red button" moment as I tried to figure out the best way to survive the situation, not knowing where exactly the bombs were aimed. Hundreds of lives laid in my hands since I was the only one with the knowledge of the life-or-death situation, and I had no idea what to do.... Needless to say, I woke up before ever dying, but I clearly remember getting all my feelings heard (and physically felt) about this one person in my life who really needs to hear what I have to say to him, though it may never get through his thick head.
But that's beside the point. I'm in the midst of planning this party for one of my best friends' birthday, and I'm realizing how addicted I am to stress. I've planned too many surprises to count in the past three weeks, all of which put some sort of stress on me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I get really bored when I don't have something to plan, control, or manage. As laidback a person I think I am, I am utterly dependent upon stress to get me through the day. I'm uptight, and I hate being uptight.
Now, as you can tell, I have some serious control issues. And I find myself not trusting others with responsibilities that I feel would be done better if I did it myself. I've been burned in that way so many times before, it's too hard to count, and I've been that unreliable person many times in the past as well, so it's really hard for me to let go. It's really taken a toll on my spiritual walk with Jesus, since I have such a hard time letting go and letting Him take care of me.
There are so many obstacles that I feel would come in the way of me being completely free in Him. And they seem so very intimidating, though I know that letting Him take care of them would make them show themselves as small in comparison. I'm very fluent in giving advice and encouraging others in that way, but it's so much easier said than done. So, here I am... apologizing to all those to whom I have given that advice so flippantly. I don't blame you for not taking my words and doing anything with them, because I can tell you right now, I can't even motivate myself to do it.

So, I have noticed that whilst trying to control my life and the lives of others, I've lost control somewhere along the way. I'm not really sure what happened, but I'm almost going crazy. So, I would really appreciate your prayers and encouragements.... Thanks, friends, for reading and caring.
Let me know, too, how I might be praying for you! I hope your lives are awesome!